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President Bush returned from
a two-day visit to Canada with a pledge from the Canadian government that
it will not withdraw from its common border with the U.S.
With Canada opposing U.S. foreign policy and providing haven for American
military deserters, some people feared that it might move to Europe to
form a common border with France.
But Prime Minister Paul Martin assured Bush that Canada wants to remain
where it is, if only to welcome blue state residents who have been
thinking of moving north of the border out of disappointment at the recent
U.S. election results.
Noting that many American movies are filmed in Vancouver, Bush asked if
Canada might consider "taking in certain show business people
permanently." He did not mention Michael Moore, Tim Robbins, or Barbara
Streisand by name.
Bush's visit was marked by protests, with demonstrators demanding that the
U.S. withdraw from their continent instead of the other way around.
The American president said this would be impractical because of the cost
of reprinting many legal documents to eliminate "of America" from "United
States of America."
He conceded that if we moved to Asia, we could at least keep the initials
"USA."
But Asia is already overcrowded, the president said, "and if we moved
there the Far East's hourly wage would go way up and we could no longer
import cheap products made in sweat shops."
With neither the U.S. nor Canada planning to move anytime soon, Bush said
the two nations will have to get along.
"As a first step, I suggest that Canada adopt a third language, speaking
not only English and French, but also Texican."
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Check out our previous article:
Gore heads list
to replace
Ridge in Homeland Security
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