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President Bush today said
America's dumb people can easily make up the projected shortfall in Social
Security, and he suggested a tax they'd be happy to pay.
"What I propose is America's first national lottery," the president told a
meeting of the nation's governors, "because intelligent people are bearing
too much of the tax burden."
The president said that no matter who runs them -- state or federal
governments -- lotteries amount to a tax on the stupid.
He complained that states are taking advantage of citizens who are foolish
enough to buy lottery tickets every week, "and now it's time for the
federal government to get a piece of that same idiot pie."
People of average intelligence know better than to spend much money on
lottery tickets, the president said, but there are enough dumb Americans
to balance the federal budget and get Social Security out of hock.
"It's about time that Uncle Sam shared in this lucrative tax on
stupidity," the president said.
Many of the governors at the meeting grumbled at how Bush described their
states' lottery players, with New York's George Pataki saying, "By
regularly playing Lotto, hollow-heads perform a great service and they
should not be demeaned."
The president replied that he would be the last person to demean dimwits,
because he considers them to be among his most ardent supporters.
The president noted that state lotteries have limited resources and can
offer odds no better than one in a million, "but the federal government is
big enough to offer ten in a hundred million."
A survey of lottery players found that most are excited by the higher
figure.
__________
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